Brainspotting: Finding Post-Trauma Wellness

Introduction

My journey toward post-trauma wellness began many years ago, but was fully realized when I encountered a new brain-based psychotherapy. I hope that presenting my own case might demonstrate how the boundaries of mental health treatment and recovery can extend to optimal physical and mental wellness through the use of Brainspotting (BSP) and mindfulness practices.

Background

I experienced childhood trauma involving sexual assault on a weekly basis for nine years, which ended when I disclosed to a school guidance counselor and was separated from my family. In 1972, people believed that incest was rare. My father was not arrested and I was sent to a psychiatric ward. Within a few months three psychiatrists gave me different diagnoses: Schizophrenia, Adjustment Reaction to Adolescence, and Major Depression. I was remanded to a group home for “emotionally disturbed adolescents” and it was recommended that I be committed to the state mental hospital because my family had limited resources for private care. Fortunately, my aunt and uncle living several states away took me into their family and offered emotional support as I completed high school and worked my way through college and graduate school. I earned a Division I athletic scholarship, major leadership awards, and a graduate assistantship to complete my master’s degree in health education.

A Triggering Life Event

The course of my life abruptly changed in 1992. After many years living far removed from my family-of-origin, I was called to return for a life-threatening emergency. My mother had fallen into a diabetic coma and nearly died as the doctors amputated both of her legs. I stayed for a couple of weeks to help family members make decisions about her care. The contact with my perpetrating father brought up unbearable conflicts and an unstoppable flood of painful memories.

By the time I returned to my home in Pittsburgh, I was unable to function. My partner, who was a social worker, encouraged me to reenter the psychiatric system for help. My first adult hospitalization lasted for 10 weeks. For much of the time my entire being was absorbed with the constant replay of past events and such a profound nonverbal sadness that I had to receive IV fluids and tube feedings because I was unable to talk, eat, or drink, and could barely care for myself.

Read how Brainspotting aided my journey to wholeness in the attached PDF.